Chapter One...
Lucy Leighton-Burns
Writer + Psychology Study + Child Education - Care + Adventure + Contact + Research
Ongoing study of development, personality and personality disorder + ACE's
Psychology Education
The Development of Conduct Disorder and Aggression – Psychopathy – Abigail Marsh PhD
The Overlap between Narcissistic Personality Disorder and Psychopathy – With Carrie Barron MD.
ACEs, Complex Trauma, and Toxic Stress: Implications for Affect, Behavior, Cognition, and Physical Health – Jerrod Brown, PhD.
Correctional Mental Health – Virginia Barber Rioja, PhD, and Ashley Batastini, PhD
CBT for ADHD, turn intentions into actions - J.Russell Ramsay Ph.D, ABPP
A background in Childcare
Child Education - Care
Working in businesses and my own business. A passion. Providing services that help child development and growth in a creative environment. Children can find themselves, and make a mess at the same time. Nutrition is part of the big picture.
Hike, bike, climb, run or a flight. All part of the...
Adventure
Family is a word I treasure. Empathy, awareness, education and finding new ground. This can be mountain high, waterfall wide, and river or lake deep.
Insight offers Closure + Gratitude
Thank you
A personal reflection - Feeling connected and passionate about what is important and knowing what is required. A full-time human being - Family first, imagination second, boundaries third, education fourth... and not in any order because close friends are all mixed up inside everything. More than a butterfly. Be mindful of biased moral bankruptcy and a malignant empathy deficit trying to appear as something else.
Further insight can be found on the family website:
LeightonBurns.com - Family + JamesLeightonBurns.com - Writer
Research links to various websites with insight into subjects linked to certain kinds of adult behaviour
Research Part One
Lexis Nexis - How to Fact Check Like a Pro
"Be skeptical—verify before you share. Journalists assume they are wrong, and seek corroborating evidence."BBC - Top tips for global Fact Checkers from AFP
"Fact Checkers use traditional journalism techniques to speak to witnesses and check evidence, but they often use digital tools too. Many of these are useful across the newsroom to help avoid misinformation and work more efficiently."University Libraries - "Fake News," Misinformation & Disinformation
"A fact is a statement that can be verified. A statement of opinion is not a fact."True or False: If someone becomes part of an emotionally abusive smear campaign (the generic hidden agenda surfaces later). Acts to harm a victim/target/group/family/worker without FACT CHECKING, they become a fool by being a third-party tool.
CPS - Controlling or Coercive Behaviour in an Intimate or Family Relationship
"Section 76 Serious Crime Act 2015 (SCA 2015) created the offence of controlling or coercive behaviour in an intimate or family relationship (CCB). It can be tried summarily or on indictment and has a maximum penalty of five years’ imprisonment."GOV - Serious Crime Act 2015A person (A) commits an offence if—(a)A repeatedly or continuously engages in behaviour towards another person (B) that is controlling or coercive,(b)at the time of the behaviour, A and B are personally connected [F1(see subsection (6))],(c)the behaviour has a serious effect on B, and(d)A knows or ought to know that the behaviour will have a serious effect on B.
BPS - ‘Too much focus on trying to understand the narcissist is very much part of the problem’"Narcissistic abuse is known as 'invisible abuse'. There are no bruises or marks to see. It is subtle and progressive. People outside of the relationship may not suspect a thing. Abusers can be masterful in their manipulation of a situation or person to believe 'It's me and my fault', 'I'm the problem', 'I'm not good enough'. These are common core beliefs in action in abusive relationships. And to others, they can appear charming, caring and kind. With progressive coercive control and for example, the use of gaslighting, narcissistic individuals can manipulate a person into doubting as to whether what they are experiencing is even abuse. In extreme cases, people doubt their own sanity."“Well, I'm not sure it would be fair to say that men are more likely to be narcissistic abusers than women. I think that's another misconception about abuse. Both males and females can be narcissistic, and so both are certainly just as capable of being abusive. Narcissistic abuse is subtle. It's not physical.” - Dr Sarah Davies | Oct 2023
SafeLives is a UK Beacon for those who need help with various forms of abuse. Many types of abuse, not physical, are regarded as Psychological with a design to harm the victim and keep the abuser hidden in a cloak of deceptive actions and statements to maintain control over other people’s perceptions or narrative at any cost. Victims can be harmed inside and outside of a facade created by the psychological abuser.Follow the links to read the full articles - SafeLivesSafeLives - A-Z Glossary
"Normalising: A tactic used to desensitise an individual to abusive, coercive or inappropriate behaviours. Once the behaviour is seen as normal, then the victim is more prone to taking part in it.""The silent treatment can range from days to weeks (or longer), and is used to communicate the abuser’s displeasure, disapproval and contempt toward the victim.""Stalking: When a person engages in unsolicited acts towards another person, including following them, watching or spying on them, or forcing contact through any means, including social media.""Triangulation: Creating some form of drama or chaos, with the abuser in the middle, generally involving two rivals, and manipulating them into a conflict with each other.""Walking on eggshells: Watching what you say or do around a certain person because of fear.""Verbal abuse: When a perpetrator exercises control over their victim through an incident or pattern of incidents of disempowering, devaluing or disrespectful verbal communications."SafeLives - Coercive control
"Domestic abuse isn’t always visible and it doesn’t always leave a physical mark. Coercive and controlling behaviour (sometimes known as CCB) may be the only type abuse that someone experiences. It often happens as part of a pattern of abuse and the impact is serious, with long-lasting effects on the victim."SafeLives - Psychological abuse
"Psychological abuse is the regular and deliberate use of words and non-physical actions to manipulate, hurt, weaken or frighten a person and to distort, confuse or influence their thoughts and actions."Gaslighting, or making someone question their own thinking or understanding of reality
Shifting the blame to the victim, for example by presenting insults as a joke
Criticism, humiliation or put-downs
Silent treatment
Controlling who someone can speak to, meet or spend time with
Suggesting the victim is mentally unstable.SafeLives - What is domestic abuse?
"Domestic abuse isn’t always physical. Any type of threatening, controlling or coercive behaviour is abuse – whether it’s physical, psychological, sexual, economic or emotional."SafeLives - Advocate
"A person who is able to help another person to express their views, stand up for their rights and obtain support."
Choosing Therapy - Narcissistic Smear Campaign: Examples & How to Deal With It
"A narcissistic smear campaign is a deliberate tactic used by individuals with narcissistic traits to harm someone’s reputation and isolate them from their support network. Through lies, exaggerations, and false accusations, the narcissist seeks to discredit their victim, often as an act of revenge or to regain control after a relationship ends."Choosing Therapy - 9 Narcissistic Manipulation Tactics & How to Deal
"A person with narcissistic personality or narcissistic traits frequently uses manipulation tactics to influence and control others. Common examples of this include gaslighting, triangulation, love bombing, and many others."Simple Psychology - What Is a Narcissistic Smear Campaign?
"A narcissistic individual will do anything to keep their façade intact, including launching a smear campaign against you. A narcissistic smear campaign is a deliberate and calculated effort by a narcissist to tarnish someone else’s reputation, credibility, or character."Simple Psychology - 15 Signs Of Passive-Aggressive Behavior With Examples
"Passive-aggressive behaviour is characterised by indirect resistance to others’ demands and avoidance of direct confrontation. It often involves showing irritability or hostility through subtle means like critical comments, sarcasm, cynicism, or complaints about minor issues."Simple Psychology - Narcissistic Supply: The Fuel Behind Manipulative Relationships
"The False Self is a grandiose fantasy, a protective fortress that narcissists build as a defense mechanism against the invalidating environment they experienced in childhood."Simple Psychology - Narcissistic Rage: Signs, Causes, Examples, & How to Cope
"Narcissistic rage refers to an intense, exploitive, and often out-of-control reaction exhibited by individuals with narcissistic personality traits or narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) when they perceive a threat to their self-esteem, self-worth, or grandiose self-image."Simple Psychology - Smear Campaigns and How to Overcome Them
"Essentially, it is a manipulative tactic used to maintain the narcissist’s own image while discrediting and undermining their target’s."Dealing with the Narcissist's Smear Campaign
"My mother stopped at nothing when I went no contact. She spread rumours about me to family members, my neighbors, and even got in touch with my boss. My boss had no idea who she was, by the way, but that didn’t matter to Mom. Lies, and more lies. She told people I’d stolen from her, that she’d stopped speaking to me because I was violent, that I abused my kids."Get Court Ready - Wondering If You’re Dealing With a High-Conflict Personality?
"A smear campaign is far more than simple badmouthing. It's a calculated strategy where the narcissist works to destroy your credibility, often long before you even realise it's happening."
VeryWellMind – What to Do If You or a Loved One Lack Empathy
Very Well Mind – How to Identify a Malignant Narcissist
PsychCentral – Long-Term Narcissistic Abuse Can Cause Brain Damage
Marriage – 21 Key Secrets To a Successful Marriage
Psychology Today – The Risk Factors for Continuing the Cycle of Abuse
VeryWellMind – Why Do People Blame the Victim?
Medical News Today – What to know about DARVO
VeryWellMind – Understanding Developmental Psychology
PsychCentral – How Narcissists Blame and Accuse Others for Their own Shortcomings
Darren Magee – How to Handle the DARVO Method
Psychology Today – Narcissists, Controllers, and the Art of Blame-Shifting
URM – The Keys to a Successful Marriage
Congruence and Incongruence
Behaviour Research + Third-Party Resources
Research Part Two
“When researching for insight, ask yourself - What is the preference for yourself or others?
Moral Core Values: Coverup or Closure?”Always check your information source, cross-reference, and FACT CHECK, and never ever be influenced by face value third party in direct gossip/smear, especially when it is designed to cover up with gaslighting and blame-shifting, shame shifting, and removing attention/spotlight from a highly deceitful person. Empathy and tolerance must not be used against yourself.
A truth bias should not allow self deception about a deceptive persons hidden agenda behind the emotional or deflecting pressured influence.
Choosing Therapy - 20 Examples of Gaslighting: Relationships, Parents, Friends, & Coworkers“Gaslighting is a form of psychological abuse where someone distorts reality to make others feel confused and question themselves. Gaslighting may include deliberate deceit, passive aggression, defensiveness, sarcasm, and undermining someone else’s experiences.”Choosing Therapy - 18 Signs of Toxic Parents & How to Deal With Them
“Abuse includes more than physical violence. Toxic parents may also be verbally abusive and/or emotionally abusive as a way to take power and control. Verbal and emotionally abusive parents belittle their children’s self-esteem by calling them names and purposefully embarrassing them in public.”“Toxic parents often prioritize their own needs, desires, and wants before those of their children. They may take care of their basic necessities first and address their children’s last.”Choosing Therapy - 15 Signs of Abusive Parents
“Toxic parents can resort to manipulation to get what they want from their children. They may use parental gaslighting to further create doubt in a child’s mind. “
Behaviour Research + Third-Party Resources
Research Part Three
WellandGood - A ‘Malignant’ Narcissist Is the Worst Type of All—Here’s How To Spot One
Quote: "What causes malignant narcissism? Adverse childhood experiences (ACEs)" (This is being updated with a focus on a combination with genetics as not everyone developed a detached manipulative Dark Triad or Tetrad personality.)
Reference the Dr Peter Salerno film above.
9 Traits of Malignant Narcissism: 10 Disturbing Signs You Need to Know
VeryWellMind - How to Identify a Malignant Narcissist
Psychology Today - A New Way to Spot the Most Dangerous Narcissists
Malignant Narcissist: How to Spot Them and How to CopeTracing the Link Between Narcissistic Personality Disorder and Childhood Overgratification
Adverse childhood experiences leading to narcissistic personality disorder: a case report
ScienceDirect - Adverse childhood experiences and grandiose narcissism
Childhood Trauma & Its Lifelong Impact: 12 Resources
Adverse Childhood Experiences and the Lasting ImpactPsychology Today - Why BPD Causes Lashing Out at Family and Friends
Psychology Today - When Your Mother Has a Borderline Personality
Psychology Today - Are You a Target of Blame for a Borderline Personality?
"Borderline HCPs frequently distort information, giving it an all-or-nothing spin, or jumping to conclusions, or personalising things which really aren’t personal."Psychology Today - 7 Reasons Narcissists Rarely Grow Emotionally
Psychology Today - Denial in the Narcissistic Mind: Pathological Distortion
Psychology Today - Does a Narcissist Believe His or Her Own Lies?
"Narcissists live and die by their own version of the truth. Is it the truth if reality has been distorted? A narcissist believes it is. Extreme cognitive distortions and rigid unconscious defence mechanisms change a person’s perception of an experience."Only having a 'User' and 'Password' is not enough. 2FAS
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